Sex jokes
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
Pls send.
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
Clit
So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
Where did daddy cum in the bed?...
Everywhere!
Getting ready for gangbang.
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."