Sex jokes

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

There are multiple. That’s the joke.

Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

Why do they call my dick section 8?

Because all the hoes are on it.

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

...

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.