Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
Sex Jokes
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
Why can't orphans suck dick?
Because they don't have a stepbro.
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
I fucked a wall.
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
Nice cock, bitch.
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
What is a queef?
Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
My friend has ligma...
Lick ma balls!
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
You were amazing... Sike I lied, that pussy is dry.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Why were the octopi sad?
Ugly 2d big tittied girls kept fucking him idk im a horny 14 year old.
My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
