Sex jokes
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Why do orphans love blowjobs?
Because they actually get kissed!
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
Dick sucking.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.
And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.
Nutty.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"