See jokes

Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"

Me: "You wanna see my dad?"

Some kid: "Yeah?"

Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."

Some kid: "He ain't appearing."

Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."

*The kid laughs*

Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃

I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.

Why could the blind man not see?

Answer: Because he is blind.

I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!

I know a baby carrot when I see one.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.

When you see a woman with a leg chain, what usually comes to your mind?

You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.

You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.

Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?

W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

Me: Spell "I cup."

My Friend: I see you pee.

Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!

My Friend: Oh hehe O-O

Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."