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I don’t see what the problem is.

The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!

What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?

"I C D K"

You know what I see?

DICK

A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.

The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.

I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.

Why do orphans read BL or GL?

Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."