How do you make an orphans hands bleed? Tell them to clap until they see there parents.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts. Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flag mate.
Go up to someone and say "im sorry for your loss" and see what they do
i have 206 bones but when is see you i have 207
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing. Her momma said Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your under-ware. Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed, she knew she wasn't wearing no under-ware.
my balls when i see tazzaro: boioioioioioingWhy don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
So one day I saw a dog outside so I played with it then I was like I’m ganna see it’s name and where it lives so I did then...it’s name was momo then I looked to see where it lived it said joe momma street
you look like a dumb crab. when everyone sees you, the world will end.
When I see your face there's one thing I want to change The direction I'm looking
why cant an orphan have a phone because they will see a home
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
Fella walks past a mental hospital, there all out in the garden behind this big fence . All SHOUTING 13 13 13 13. Ect Over and over again ..
This fella is intrigued sees a little hole in the fence Looks through it .. GETS FUCKING POKED STRAIGHT IN THE EYE ..
Then they all start singing
14 14 14 14 14 14 ;)
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !
Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !
This huntsman also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear .
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self 🧐 if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile ..,
there’s This cat !!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings ...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )
WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx
leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the colour of 911?
Plane.
What is the fasted way to see 911?
Plane.
what do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
the worst shits you'll ever see
So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)
Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin