See You

See You jokes

Idiot

57 views ·

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.

After a minute, a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

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  • Monday

    38 views ·

    And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.

    Orphan

    20 views ·

    Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.

    Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.

    Lil Jimmy: Why?

    Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.

    Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕

    Hobby

    14 views ·

    John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.

    Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.

    Phone

    176 views ·

    A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:

    Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.

    The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

    The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

    Depression

    54 views ·

    Me: Hey, how are you?

    Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

    Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

    Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

    Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

    Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

    Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

    Me: Ok, and their names?

    Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

    Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

    Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

    Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

    Me now hates my life. :)

    Orphan

    953 views ·

    Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

    Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

    Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

    Orphan: "Why?"

    Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

    Doctor

    6 views ·

    Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.

    Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?

    Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.

    Orphan: Why?

    Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

    Fat

    13 views ·

    You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

    Breath

    13 views ·

    Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

    Breath

    9 views ·

    When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

    Loyalty

    7 views ·

    Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

    Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

    Incest

    83 views ·

    Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!

    Me: But Billy's with her right now.

    Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM

    Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.

    Height

    1 view ·

    Why did I trip over your foot?

    Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!