Scream Jokes

What did the chef on the titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes- "oh no the sink sank!"

What's white, red, and screams a lot? A baby in a blender.

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.

JACK AND JILL 2.0

After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,

Jack was screaming till his voice went nil

And Jill screamed "Chill!"

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works. My victims still scream.

I screamed janga today when watching the 9/11 documentary

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years". I walked away shocked but not surprised

Jace: ha ha i won dude you suck at monopoly Timmy:Let's play another game *GUNSHOT* Ig i won! Jace:*SCREAMS IN PAIN* Timmy: What? I thought we were playing chutes and ladders!

i saw a kid in a wheelchair and i screamed EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in fast and furious his wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going

me: im afraid of random letters

therapist: you are?

me: [screams]

therapist: oh i see

me: [screaming intensifies]

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

I was at school when i remembered i forgot my necklace then i screamed out, "SHIT I FORGOT GRANDPA."

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."

The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"