Scream Jokes

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say "Tell me if you can hear me", then get in the trunk and start screaming.

one day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed " YoUr AdOpTeD!" he said "yeah I know my REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary

im m 24 and i was fucking a chinese lady and she kept screaming "im tu yung!" like idk what that name is

Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach

What's the difference between a child and a book?

One doesn't scream when you snap it's neck.

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed but I remembered you were adopted...

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

what is a ghost favorite cake? i scream cake!

Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.

IF a person walks off a hundred foot cliff and half way down screams why did I do that. Then a second person walks off the same one hundred foot cliff and screams the same verse "why did I do that," then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line" why did I do that" and the next person the same thing. What do you call that? (Stupid People)

whats the difference between a pool and a toddler? one doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)

When you’re walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming “They’re in the fucking trees!”

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy