Scream jokes

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.

Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"

"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.

"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"

"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"

Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"

When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”