A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
whats red and screams when you shake it? a skinned baby in a bag of salt
Girl playing outside: step on a line and you break your mommy's spine She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming
Girl playing outside :step on a crack and you break daddy's back She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming
The husband starts celebrating gets in the car and starts to drive away
The son comes outside and steps on a crack
The dad then dies in a car crash
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
When you’re walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming “They’re in the fucking trees!”
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy
When your going 80KM in a school zone and one of the speed bumps scream.
What’s 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Why can’t a orphan have sex?
Because they can’t scream daddy!
What the difference between a lambo and 200 children in my basement, one screams the children don’t
2. Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you 😫
Man 1: Hey I heard you survived a school shooting, what was it like? Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere, I was only able to get a few of them.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. he sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger. Mason: heh. good thing i eat like a horse. He looks up at the waiter. Waiter: you are a nasty little bunny, aren't you? Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him.... she was a HORSE.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly. I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking but she said she didn't want any. When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told me friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him "The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
