Intercom jokes

When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.

Hi, I did not text back to text her and dad, now I’m texting her. Now I’m.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

"Hey Gwen, I'm back."

-Dev

"It's been so long they unblocked it!"

"Soph, can we talk?"

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."