Science jokes
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
I like balls.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.