Science jokes
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
Memes
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.