Science jokes
I like balls.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"