Science jokes
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
🏧gvgffgtyuhihihguggu
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.