Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Science Jokes
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What planet has a butt? Uranus!
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
