Science jokes
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What planet has a butt? Uranus!
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?