Why did stephen Hawking make it to heaven? He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Stand? Wait. No.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
Stephen hawking went on a date last night She left after 15 minutes complaining she didn't like his tone
