Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
Three Vulcans walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.