Gasoline

Gasoline Jokes

Baby

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

Cat

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"

  • 8
  • Blonde

    Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

    The brunette brings canteens of water.

    The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

    The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

    The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

    To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

  • 3
  • Car

    What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

    Only one gets fuel.

    Anxiety

    Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

    Cat

    How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

    How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

    Driver

    When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.