Gasoline jokes

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.

Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.

Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.

My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.

What happens when the terminator pees?

Gasoline descent.

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"

"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."

Gas is expensive nowadays.

In the 1940s, they got it for free.

Jump in the Cadillac. (Girl, let's put some miles on it.) Anything you want. (Just to put a smile on it.) You deserve it, baby, you deserve it all, And I'm gonna give it to you. Gold jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice, Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like. Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like.

-Tommyinnit

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.