Say

Say jokes

Boy

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

  • 9
  • 1
  • Teddy Bear

    Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

    She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

    Pedophile

    What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

    How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

    How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

    What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

  • 1
  • Shower

    A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."

    Memes

    Kid

    What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

    Sum ting wong.

    Genius

    Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.

    Cop

    What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

    "I guess orange is the new black."

    Taliban

    Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.

    Man

    A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

    “Super Power Beer,” he says.

    “Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

    Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.

    “Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.

    Splat.

    The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

    Feminist

    If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

    "Not now, I have a headache."

    Dildo

    Many years of sex in the dark.

    The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

    The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

    Parachute

    Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”

  • 7
  • Rape

    How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

    Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

    Mississippi

    Two Italian men get on a bus.

    They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.

    Den I come.

    Den two asses come together.

    I come once-a-more.

    Two asses, they come together again.

    I come again and pee twice.

    Then I come one lasta time."

    "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

    Vampire

    What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?

    "When is your next blood period?"

  • 1
  • Adoption

    One man's trash is another man's treasure.

    Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.