What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? hey get out of my sun!
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
When Santa Asks You what you want for Christmas then says ho ho ho say yes Please.
what did the pot say to the kettle? to lick the spoon
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."
the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A boy breaks a vase and his mom says its ok honey mistakes happen how do you think you were born
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
what did the pot say to the kettle? to lick the S### spoon
it's not that i dont get the laugh but most of you need to read thru what's already been posted cause everybody's saying the same shit.
If you turn the word racecar backwards it says racecar. But if you turn the racecar sideways you have Paul walkers blood on your hands
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?" The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public? Gotta Go Fast
I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. -- Which makes me an eighth theist.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
