Say jokes
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
Why can’t someone say "ur mums gay" to an orphan? Because he doesn’t have a mum.
What did the porg say to the porg?
Hi Porg.
You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
"1v1," said Kobe. LeBron James says, "Ok, bet," and bet the money. Bro, ok, let's get it."
At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
Wow, these jokes are lit.
Some might say even killer!
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?
"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"