Say jokes
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
What did the bunger say to the bunger? Bunger.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."