Say jokes

What did the traffic light say to the truck?

"Don't look, I'm about to change!"

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look pretty flushed.

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.

What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?

"That hit the spot?"

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

What did the fish say when he got to the dam?

"Dam water."

"Dam!"

What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?

Poke me, mon.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

POOP!

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye, matey!

What did the headless horseman say to the woman?

"Give me head."

Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.