Say jokes

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"

One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"

What did Little Johnny say to his dad?

Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"

What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

What did the helicopter say to the mountain?

Kobe!!!

Just send me to hell already.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.

What did the headless horseman say to the woman?

"Give me head."

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.

A gay man offers him a drink.

The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.

"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."

The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.

Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.

They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"

He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."

So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"

Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.