Say

Say jokes

Man

    • Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

    You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

    Man

    • A disabled man stands up.

    A blind man says, "You can stand?"

    A deaf man says, "You can see?"

    A mute person says, "You can hear?"

    The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

    Doctor: "What the actual f**k"

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    • Library

    • So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

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    • Man

    • A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"

    The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".

    The man asks, "Ten what?"

    Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".

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    • House

    • You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

    Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

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    • Say memes

    Helmet

    • Some say under his helmet is another smaller helmet, and under that is another helmet, and under that is a poster of Miley Cyrus.

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    • Sex

    • The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.

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    • Neighbor

    • One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

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    • Bang

    • "Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

    "Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

    "Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.

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    • Man

    • A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"

    The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."

    The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."

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    • Wish

    • Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"

    Hitler

    • What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

    "Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

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    • Adoption

    • You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

    Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD

    Bomber

    • What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?

    I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!

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