Say jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
They say people are 75% water.
But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"