Say jokes
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
What do cheetahs say?
"Cheese-ah!"
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."