Say jokes
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk? Nothing... she couldn't tell.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl? HO, HO, HO!
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What name is easy to say in Spanish?
Marissa!