Say

Say jokes

Plane

    • A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

    A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

    A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"

  • 1

    • T-Series

    • I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!

    Say memes

    Ice Cream

    • A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

    Jew

    • A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

  • 2

    • Drunk

    • Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"

  • 6

    • Gender

    • Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

    Me: Uh, male?..

    Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

    Me: You silly goose.

    *Silence for like three seconds*

    Me: Still male though-

  • 3

    • Sentence

    • I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

    Autism

    • Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.