Say jokes
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Hello Ladies!"
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"
That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?
"Can you show me what rape is?"
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"