Say

Say jokes

Obesity

  • Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

    Patient: It runs in the family.

    Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

  • 6
  • Parrot

  • A black man entered a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

    The bartender says, "That looks exotic, where’d you get it?"

    "Africa," the parrot responded.

  • 6
  • Bear

  • A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

    The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

  • 1
  • Slit

  • The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

  • 1
  • Jesus Christ

  • A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"

  • 9
  • Egg

  • A person laughs every day.

    "Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"

  • 1
  • School

  • Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."

  • 2
  • Wheelchair

  • A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"

  • 1
  • Size

  • Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

    A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

    First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

    It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

    He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

    She walks away and says ok.

    The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

  • 0