Say jokes
Why did Beyoncé say, "to the left, to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
What did the priest say to the other priest during baptism?
"We better clean our sex toys before we play with them."
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!