Say jokes

What say the child to the man? Shalom.

Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?

"Polly want a quacker!"

Worst joke ever.

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

What did the plane say to the twin towers?

Wanna play Jenga?

Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."

Roses are red, I'm off the grid,

John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.

What did the fork say to the spoon?

Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."

When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

"Does this make any cents?" a man says.

"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.

1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”

2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.

3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?

*waits 25 seconds*

"I lost my tractor!"

Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.

What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"

A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.

He asks the boy, "What's she like?"

The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"