Say jokes

A hamburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."

This is Sally.

Sally says hi.

This is Sally when a car comes by. 🤕

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?

Because everyone says go big or go home!

What did the watch say to the failing watch company?

"You better watch it!"

What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

*Aye, Matey!*

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

They then begin a snowball fight.

The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

A horse walks into a bar.

The barman says...

"Why the long face?"

What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?

I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.

If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”