Say jokes

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.

The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

Mexican words of the day: Green, Pink, and Yellow :))

The phone go green green... I pink it up and say YELLOW!!??

What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"

What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

Which makes me an eighth-theist.

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

Au revoir, GGG

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?!"

What do Orphans say on Father's Day?

Well, not "Happy Father's Day."

What did one chair say to the other?

"I'm so bummed out!"

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."

Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.

If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."