Say jokes

What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."

So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹

That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

What did I say to my friend, "Job, your new name is Jojo Siva?"

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.

The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."

The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"

My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑

A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."

By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!