Say jokes
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.
I've seen them hanging all day.
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
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"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.
I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.