Say jokes
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.
Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!
[Image of Gwen]
Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
Hey, Mom, I am ugly.
"Facts," my mom says.
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.
I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
So a man walks into the bar. The bartender looks to him and says, "You look like you're having a rough day, tell me about it?"
The man then stood up and became Mario!