Say jokes
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
@ the N-word of your dreams, why you not say nun on the fuckin community? You should talk on ther my g.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts π
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
(Omg omg literally dislike I'm so cringe!)
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"
A magic nut.
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quick, Robin, to the Batmobile!"
A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"