When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
Say Jokes
Qwen, I have to tell you something, so say "hi" and I will tell you.
The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?
I didn’t orphan never say home.
Because they didn’t have one.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
Me say, "Crack my finger."
My hubby crack my finger.
Now say it backwards.
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
