Say

Say jokes

Vegetable

What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?

Boom! Roasted!

Pedophile

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Rickroll

Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.

Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.

Bar

Two Chinese men walk into a bar.

"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."

Memes

Emo

What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?

Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!

Sex

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Satan

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

Therapy

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

Pig

What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"

Tire

What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"

Flirt

Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)

Orphan

What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"

He replied, " "

Girl

This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”