Say jokes

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?

"Here comes the airplane!"

What did the retard say when the water too deep?

"Deep deep."

Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?

I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.

She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

What did one Koala say to the other?

"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

What did the rapper say to his BLENDER?

"Mix it up, yo!"

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."

What did the woman say to the man?

"Stop."

What did the man do?

Keep going.

FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE

What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?

"Keep this shit between you and me."

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."

What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?

"Jenga!"

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.