Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
Say Jokes
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
What do 2 emo kids say to each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
*Slaps wrist*
Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?
"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"
Wesley, stop saying your life is a joke.
Jokes have meaning.
What does Hitler's partner say when he begins?
"Hindin!"
Wow, these jokes are lit.
Some might say even killer!
What did Michael Scott say to someone when he passed a plate of vegetables?
Boom! Roasted!
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
What did the Emo kid say to the other Emo kid?
Wait! Don’t leave me hangin’!
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
