Say jokes
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"