Say jokes
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
What did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud!"
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Spell IHOP, then say "ness."
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!