Say jokes

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?

"It is ok, I forgive you."

Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"

Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?

Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."

But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!

Why did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud."

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Dam.

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!

Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?

"Ketchup!"