Say jokes

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

What do black lesbians say about pussy?

"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."

Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.

What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?

"Does this come with anything?"

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?

"Jenga!"

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.

"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."

The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.