Say jokes
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Say all the planets: Mars, Saturn, Uranus.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!