Say jokes
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
Sonic says, "Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.