You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Say Jokes
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
Sonic says, "Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Spell IHOP, then say "ness."
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
What did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud!"
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
