Say jokes
What did the math book say to the guidance counselor?
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
"Orange, orange, orange."
"Knock, knock."
"Orange."
"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. It just "waved!"
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."