Say jokes
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Memes
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”
The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!