Say jokes

Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?

A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What did one nut say to the other?

“Cashew later.”

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. It just "waved!"

A dog talks to another dog and says,

"Wow, you're a hot dog!"

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.

“No, it’s curry this time.”

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"

No one wants him, not even the bees.