Say jokes
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
If you say to someone, "Have a nice day!" it will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours," they'll be terrified.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was fucking one and she kept on saying, "I'm Tu Yung."
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
How do emos compliment each other?
They say, "I like your cuts g."
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"