Say jokes

When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.

What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?

Keep away from me-hee-hee.

What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?

"Okay, Boomer."

What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?

"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"

When did Michael say, "This is it"?

2009.

Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?

A: Ow!

What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?

Can't elope.

Roses are red, I like weed,

If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."

Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

I asked my sister to say something.

She said, "No."

That's what I like to hear.

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

What did the Titanic say as it sank?

I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?

Batter up!

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.