Say jokes

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?

A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

What did Grant say? "I'm gay."

What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?

"Aaah, a ghost!"

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"