Say jokes
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Person: Why? You: No.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."