Say jokes
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Memes
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.