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Clock

    • What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

    WATCH OUT!!!

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    • Bff

    • My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

    I said: "Why?"

    My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

    I said: "KNEW IT!"

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    • Toy

    • Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

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    • Say memes

    Guy

    • What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

    What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

    Dad

    • The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Not your dad."

    Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

    The quiet kid says, "AK."

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    • Depression

    • When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

    Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

    If you know it, you know it.

    Orphanage

    • When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

    Suicide

    • A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

    She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

    He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

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