Say jokes
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"