Say jokes
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Memes
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."