Say jokes

What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"

Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"

Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?

I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?

I’m Zaptos intolerant!

What did the helicopter say to the mountain?

Kobe.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

Person: Why? You: No.

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?

- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

The lady says, "Come again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look pretty flushed.