Say jokes

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."

What did the cat say when he got mad?

I'm hissed!

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?

- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

Person: Why? You: No.

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?

Mooooooooooo along!

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?

Screw you!

What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?

It said nothing, just let out a little wine.

A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"

The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"

Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.

Russians say goodbye without leaving.

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.