Say jokes

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."

What did I say to the bridge?

Bye, bridge.

Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.

What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?

"Get off my kid!"

What did the cow say to the leather chair?

“Hi Mom!”

What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?

I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

Why are orphans always famous?

Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.

Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"

Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look pretty flushed.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”