Say jokes
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look pretty flushed.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.