Say jokes

What did the 0 say to the 8?

"Nice belt."

Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”

My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look pretty flushed.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?

You've got a lot of problems!

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

The lady says, "Come again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."

Say "crack my finger" backwards.

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."

What did the cat say when he got mad?

I'm hissed!