Say jokes

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Why did one emo say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

Say "crack my finger" backwards.

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."

What did The Rock say to his dad?

"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"

What did the cat say when he got mad?

I'm hissed!

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

What did the duck say to the drug dealer?

Gimme some of that quack!

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look pretty flushed.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?

My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.