i saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' tshirt so i said "286lb"
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000" But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
i saw identical twins. i threw a paper plane at them.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods and I was going to tell him nice fake airpods but it was his hearing aids
I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying
When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder
That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend
As she saw it, she said "nevermind, just finger me"
You're so ugly when a pig saw you it thought that you were there family member .
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So i ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face
How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw
I saw a man trying to rape a girl,i decided to help, she didn't stand a chance against both of us
My friend and I were walking down the street and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by 3 other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help.
He had no chance against the 5 of us.
what do you call a autistic kid who just saw transformers, autistimus prime
Person 1 : "Where was Hiroshima?" Person 2 "In Japan" Person 1 "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door.He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
