Saw jokes

I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"

When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

Stinking poo poo bum.

Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣

What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?

Batter up!

I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.

"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"