Saw Jokes

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he cant get 5 stars because he ain't wanted

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said "I asked for your weight not your phone number"

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

My four conditions:

1. I need coffee.

2. I need vacation.

3. I need food.

4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;