Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.
Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
