Saw jokes
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.