Saw jokes

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

My four conditions:

1. I need coffee.

2. I need vacation.

3. I need food.

4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.