Saw jokes

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.