The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Why is Donald Duck the president? Because Donald Trump has a duck.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
