Said Jokes

there was a kid being mean to a kid at a orphanage the kid said stop but the mean one said what are you going to do call your mommy

I went home to my girlfriend, with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

A priest ask a convicted murder on the electric chair, "do you have any last request". "yes" said the murder "will you hold my hand"

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said i cant treat you, the boy asked why, and the doctor said because im a family doctor.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church.he said to the priest please say a prayer for me and the priest said ‘I ain’t got nun left’ then he died

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.” Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”

My friend txted me and asked me "Hey. Whts ur favorit emoji?" I said "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬" She said "why?" I said "Cause its your twin"

When I went to heaven I saw Steven hawking standing there I asked why he isn’t gone into heaven yet he said there is stairs

My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me...it turns out that she was lying.

A man runs into a church and shouts are there any dawarf nuns in the monsistary,the pope said no causing the man to say to his friend I told you you fucked a penguin

My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said hungry

It said to submit a joke and thats what my mom did when i was born

The teacher said made the kids guess what a random word was and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier. Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, “I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!”

So I was in the bathroom at school washing and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like "hey can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like sure and I was like come here and so she came over to me I was like girl look at ur self in the mirror and she started laughing so hard and she said I'm so ugly.

So In Prep class, The students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for grandparents day. Little Johnny's friend Little Sally write things like “thankyou” and “You are so nice!” And Little Johnny goes, “What are you doing you got it wrong!” So sally says, “What do you mean, it’s a letter.” Little Johnny says, “Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the Teacher said!” Then he says, “I wrote a J to remind them of me!”