Said jokes

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.

He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.

Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."