Said jokes

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!