Said jokes

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.

That’s like 20 years from now, I said.

He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

Sauron said, "Eye see all."

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"

I said, "Yes, I know I am."

When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

Mom: "No?"

"Like in heaven?" said the mother.

"No, juice," Sally said.