Said jokes
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
Jorking my peniys
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
said (DYM 107)
Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"
Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"
Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?
A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"
"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."