Said jokes

Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.

Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.

How were tire swings made?

A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

She said no, so I raped her.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...

She said nothing.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.

That's a big word for a 6 year old!

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

I got kicked outta the poker game.

They said I was a little cheetah.

When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"

Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"