Run jokes
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
There may be hope for Stephen Hawking yet.
His nose runs.
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door? Ouch.
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.