Run Jokes

I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say... THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why does JD Vance not need conviction?

His running mate has 34 of them!

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect two pals of water one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get I’m sick af from these stories

There was a race between Lettuce a faucet and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running and the ketchup was trying to ketchup

A blonde, burnette and a red-head are running from the police. They come across an old shack, with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the burnette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the red-head. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POtaTOES!!" And gets arrested.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

Bend over and spell run

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One day my mom told me to take out the trash and I did . The next day mom asked me where is your sister and I said a garbage truck took her. Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

A lady runs into a police station and yells "help, help". I've been graped then a police officer says "Do you mean raped". The girl then replies "No there was a bunch of em".