Run jokes

"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"

On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.

Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.

I was walking in the forest with my gf.

I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.

Guess what song this is from:

"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,

Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,

Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.

I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."

My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?

Because they can run out.

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

"Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Depression"

"Depression wh-"

ME!! *runs away*

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!

Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!

Do your buses run on time?

No, they run on diesel.

Why did the depressed person cross the road?

To get run over.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.