Run jokes
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?
Because they can run out.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.