Run jokes
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.