New Run Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

What does Trump stand for?

Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.

Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.

Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan? One has a home to run to

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

me and a girl went on a walk...then she notest me then we went for a run :)

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?

Your hairline.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.

Why did the orphan run away?

They Wanted To Go Home

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?

A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.

I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.

Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"

Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."