I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.
My wife was run over.
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
