Sex is like math. Subtract the clothes, Add the bed, Divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding... ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically,"No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets😂👀
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me*
“What do you call my friend group?* *Suicide Squad*
I have a girlfriend.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says "Will you be my Valenein?"
Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘
hey selfish king i see u need a gf ;)
Night chat. #love u forever maybe until I die! 🌸
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
Are you Paris, 'Cause Eiffel for you
Say aiden are you and Gwen dating? oooo u and her sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G then comes the romance then comes engagement then comes the wedding and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Then comes cheating and arguments and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!!!!!!!! Aiden + Gwen= Husban and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie
Not coming soon!
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
Gf:babe,do you love me Bf:count the stars and thats how much i love you\\ Gf:but its morning sweetie.... Bf:Exactly Gf: :0,Ill take that as a no
what do you call a blind person on a date? a blind date
why was the people's wedding so miserable... cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky they agreed to never try to have another wedding
Roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour
Bf:what do you think about our love?
Gf:count the stars in the sky
Bf:aww its infinity
Gf:nope just a waste of time
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
